Sif the Great
by Trouble101 Loki Laufeyson
Summary: Sif and I (Loki) have a quarrel because she treated me like a servant while Thor was in Midgard. -Loki


There I was, looking out a window overlooking the city of Asgard. Surely it was the first time I've ever thought of how much of a good job at ruling Asgard my brother was doing. But there was a problem: Thor went back down to Midgard for a meeting with S.H.I.E.L.D. and left me in charge. When he told me this, I was shocked.

He pulled me aside after talking with Heimdall telling me I was in charge of Asgard until he came back. I told him that he was making a very inappropriate decision. Leaving ME in charge of Asgard. Then he replied, telling me that I wasn't "king" I was simply "in charge."

"It's still ruling, brother!" I told him.

"Yes, but you're technically not king." he replied. "I know you, Loki. You'll do fine." He smirked.

"And I know you," I answered with wide eyes. "Shouldn't you know that I apparently would not be much of a good ruler?"

"Which is why you're not going to be king. You're just in charge." Thor was trying to tell ME that everything is going to be A-Okay! And there I was, shocked as ever that he was actually telling me this. I will have to admit, I was a bit happy inside, but mostly shocked. I begged him to stay knowing that I'd butcher Asgard. Trust me. I've read the story about Queen Marie Antoinette of the Midgardian country known as France. I know exactly how the water would flow if I was in charge.

After Thor left (even though I was following and begging him not to go all the way to the Bifröst, he still went), I sat on the throne of Asgard with a slight bit of worry in my eyes. I tried not to panic.

And then suddenly it happened; I smirked. I held my breath, knowing that I was smirking at the fact that I was finally sitting on the throne of Asgard. Sitting on the throne means business. Then I told myself to breathe.

One deep breath taken. Finally I calmed down. But then I wasn't comfortable anymore. So I kept moving in different positions until comfort.

And then I gave up.

I heard a sigh. I looked around to find Lady Sif standing there in front of me, rolling her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I asked impudently.

"Thor told me to keep a close eye on you." she replied annoyingly.

"He did what?!"

"Thor told me to keep a close eye-"

"I-I know what he said." I interrupted. But then I realized. "Wait, what good is your job? You can't tell me what to do."

"Yes, I can." she smiled.

"How-"

"You're in charge." she was summing up the subject.

"Yes…"

"And I'm queen!" Sif's smile grew larger on her face. "Now, if you please get off my chair."

"It's a throne." I corrected.

"Loki, darling. Ask me if I care." she said softly as I stood up.

"Do you care?" I sighed.

"I do not." she smiled as she walked up the steps to the throne.

"Madam." I forced a smile as I took her hand and gave her way to sit down.

She sat. "Why thank you, Loki." she smiled. "Now if you please. Thou rub my feet. They are awfully exhausted from today's long walk." She kicked her left foot up causing her shoe to fall off. She looked up at me and smiled brightly.

I glared down at her.

"Do it before I get angry!" she barked.

I had no idea what she could do at this point so I fell down and gave Queen Sif a foot massage.

"Oh dear me!" she exclaimed surprisedly.

"What?" I grumbled.

"Was that a grumble?"

"No!" I said quickly and innocently.

"Good," she smiled. "Loki, darling. I'm feeling hungry. Be a good boy and get me a large turkey leg?"

I stood up and began to glare down at her.

Sif clapped her hands and said, "Chop chop! I don't want to wait forever!"

I immediately ran off to Valhalla to grab the largest turkey leg I could possibly find. Everyone was eating viciously like wild dogs! But it didn't surprise me. Then I found it! The largest turkey leg I could find! I ran towards it and right before I grabbed it, someone else did.

"Hey!" I shouted. "That's mine!"

Then the person that took it stood up from his chair. I was looking up at him in fear because he was so tall and bulky. He was much bigger than Thor was.

I gulped. "Um, sorry to bother you, sir, but can I have that turkey leg in your hand there?"

He growled like a cougar.

"I am going to die!" I kept thinking to myself.

"You want MY turkey leg?" He asked. He had a very deep, loud voice that made everyone stop eating and look over.

Sadly I was too stupid and brave. "Yes." I answered.

"AARRGGHH!" he bellowed.

"Oh no…" I thought.

"HOW DARE YOU WANT MY TURKEY LEG!" he yelled so loud, I swear the ground shook.

My eyes were wider than an owls'.  
Then he gave me the turkey leg. I looked at it and sized it up- it was large enough. I took it without hesitation. "That was easy." I thought. Then I turned around and right when I started to walk off, the big guy began to sniffle. I turned around and he sat down and cried. People began to whisper to each other and then they walked over to comfort him.

"He-he took my turkey leg…" he sniffled.

I began to look around.

And then an older woman walked up to him and hugged him and she called him, "Honey" and he called her, "Mother" and of course that's when I realized, I was in big trouble now.

So I ran.

I ran and I ran until I finally made it into the throne room where Sif was at.

"Your Highness." I panted as I handed her the turkey leg.

"Oh, Loki," she smiled passionately. "I am so sorry, but I just realized that I am on a diet. Please do be a deer and retrieve some grapes for me?"

"W-what?" I panted sadly.

"I have no time for your puppy-dog eyes, Loki." She pouted. "I am not going to wait forever!"

I sighed and I walked off back to Valhalla to go and "retrieve some grapes."

When I entered the room, I had all eyes on me and I'll tell you one thing: they were not happy.

I immediately surrendered the large turkey leg and I said, "I need grapes."

The angry mob all looked at each other and pretty soon I was being chased by a riot with torches, pitchforks and everything.

Bad news: I came back with bruises and cuts all over me.

Good news: Thou haveth retrieved the grapes!

Sif clapped her hands excitedly. "My grapes!"

I climbed up the steps with tiresome and pain.

"Here!" I handed her the tray of grapes.

She sighed. "Well? I'm not going to eat it myself!"

I lifted an eyebrow. I picked up a grape and ate it.

"Loki!" She shouted. "You're not supposed to eat my food!" Then she smiled warmly. "You feed me the grapes one by one."

"What?!" I tempered.

"Well, go on! Pop them into my mouth!"

And so I did. I had no choice, okay?! She forced me against my own will!

After the grapes she began to clap her hands.

I lifted an eyebrow.

"This calls for dessert! Loki, go and get me some cake!"

My eyes widened. I was thinking about the story of Queen Marie Antoinette of France. "Let them eat cake!" is what the queen used to say. So I began to think that my death was coming for I did not work with a happy heart!

"Well?" Sif smiled.

I ran off. This was my chance. I had to make the cake myself! Luckily, I know how to bake. Ehehehe!

So I baked and I baked. And I added a sleeping potion to both the baking mix and the frosting. I laughed mischievously as I watched the cake bake in the oven.

And thus I have created a cake that would make Sif fall into a deep, deep, deep, DEEP sleep.

I arrived with a platter of a slice of the sleepy cake I made. I handed it to Queen Sif with a kneel.

"Thank you, Loki! You are such a gentleman!" She smiled passionately. Then her smile faded. "Oh…"

"Oh? Oh what? Why oh?" I panicked.

"I just remembered…" she replied sadly.

"What did you just remember?"

"I'm on a gluten free diet…"  
"Huh?!" I exclaimed gloomily.

"I guess it's yours!" She forced a smile. "You deserve it! Go ahead!"

"Oh, no I shouldn't." I smiled.

"Yes, you should. Please do be a deer and eat it!"

And thus, I was forced to eat it. So I took a bite.

And then suddenly… I dropped in a faint down the steps, and onto the cold hard surface of the floor face first.

The day was over.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up in the same spot I fell asleep (literally) and there was Thor standing over me.

"Thor!" I smiled happily as I rapidly stood up. I hugged him. "I am so happy to see you!"

"Loki, what were you doing on the floor?" Thor pulled me away so I wasn't hugging him anymore.

"Why did you hire Sif to be queen while you were gone?" I glared.

"Because I knew she would do better than you," said Thor. "No offense, brother."

I rolled my eyes.

"Now, if you please, brother," said Thor. "I must thank Sif."

"Please, brother!" I whined. "She doesn't deserve it! You don't know what I've been through!"

But before I could stop him, he lifted an eyebrow and left the room. I pouted for a long time until Sif came in the room with two cups of tea.

"Good morning, Loki!" She smiled.

"Please, Sif," I said. "I'm not in the mood."

She shoved the teacup in my hand so I was forced to drink it.

I looked at the cup and sniffed it.

"Oh, no worries, Loki!" She smiled. "I didn't poison it- I'm not like you!"

"W-what?" I asked nervously. "I- I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Come on, Loki, I know you're a better liar than that!" She smiled. "I know you poisoned the cake!"

I chuckled because there was no point in hiding it anymore. "You're not on a gluten free diet, are you?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "But I am on I am on the 'I don't eat poison diet!'" She said spitefully.

"And I'm on the 'I don't follow orders by women diet!'" I shouted impudently.

"Oh really!" She said. "Well, I'm on the 'I hate men with poison diet!'"

"And I'm on the-" I was interrupted because I just noticed her clothes. "Are you wearing my mother's dress?" I glared.

"Oh," she smiled wickedly. "Am I? I thought that this was just a queen's dress! It is so beautiful, yes?"

"Are you flirting with me?" I asked. "I don't like to be flirted with!"  
"For cries and sake, Loki! I don't flirt! I simply whip my eyelashes!"  
"Yes, which is flirting," I replied. "You fancy me!"

"Don't act so childish, Loki- I don't flirt! My eyes are very dry this morning!" She took a sip of her tea.

"How dare you flirt with me while wearing my mother's dress!" I raised my voice.

"She's dead, Loki!" She yelled back.

We yelled at each other until Thor came in and slapped both of us in the face. "Silence!" He shouted.

Sif began to cry.

"W-what's wrong?" Thor asked.

Sif pointed at me.

Thor looked towards me. "Loki?" He tempered.

"W-what- All I did was tell her straight up-"

"You hurt her feelings, brother!" Thor turned towards Sif. "And you," he pointed at her. "Stop manipulating! There is no need for it! Now apologise- both of you!"

Sif and I glared at each other for a moment.

"Now." said Thor strictly.

"I'm sorry." I said as I put up my hand for her to shake it.

"I'm sorry." She replied as she grabbed my hand and we shook each other's hands.

We then let go and smiled at each other.

"Now," said Thor. "I want the both of you to go clean the stalls. I don't want to see a germ! It'd better be cleaner than the prettiest diamond in the nine realms!"

The punishment was grave, but we managed.


End file.
